on the subpar, not.

We tried noodle house ken on friday. There’s so many ramen places we’re just missing them from the map. Service was alot better than expected. Reveiews have cast their waiting service in a very bad light I was anticipating grumpy waitresses who see not, hear not but apparently it was not true. The lady even gave me a call when they got us a table cuz my weak limbs couldn’t bear to stand in the middle of nowhere. And facing the brown venetian blinds on the bartop counter while feasting on ur char shu ramen you can pretend you’re not in singapore, really. Because the wall’s all you see.

My last trip to town dated several months back so imagine my surprise to see new malls sprouting out. Am particularly fascinated to the creative wall decor flanking the escalator up orchard central. & huge plasma screens! It’s an essential in all districts. Now,a mind-boggling intersection of lines across roads would complete my night time fantasy.

We spend the rest of the night people-watching. Which simply bring to light how much i love early mornings and night time. Afternoons are terrible. We should all go to bed at 1pm and wake up in time for dinner, the start of the day.

Last night bad bad encounter with sister cut short my trip back home so now i am in my loving privacy of ridge view watching A Frozen Flower and intermittently playing the role of a diligent student reading pickard’s manual to operative dentistry. Not that it’s heavy reading. Thank goodness I’m no longer year one. I am so so so unaccustomed to high stress setting and the responsibility weighing on my shoulder. Maybe I’m better off in obscurity minding my own business and being on the subpar.

Of late a part of me cannot wait to have children. I think my clock is setting off a little too early but i can’t stop thinking how wonderful it would be to have children. Especially when they cannot constuct illegible sentences. To set up a faamily is such a wonderful thing. Even if life has no meaning.

It doesn’t.

be great

At 630 I had an equivalent of a childbirth experience. Not belittling the powerful act of parturition ;I’m just exhausted. Memo from downstairs: more fibre please. New diet ain’t working out. It’s like delivering a disembodied limb, make that a leg with all thigh and kneecap attached.

In other news, a more palatable one, a mighty day has past. Learning experience yes. I really am fond of AAP Lim KC. Super glad we’re having him as our pbl tutor this term. & I am very sure our group shared the same sentiment.

Went for a jog just. After the simple physically draining toilet experience. This blue mark killed my breath. & I am starting to doubt my optician for prescribing my anemic eyes as 100/100. Why, I am as blind without my glasses. The guys from my class were playing soccer. Met boon, syaz and ken along my way back, they told me. But when I walked around the court i could see only sexy legs and tall guys. No faces of recognition. My failing eyes.

I am really awe-inspired by some of the teaching staff whom I considered myself very lucky to encounter right now in my embroynic phase of dentistry as a career. Their professionalism, their chairside skills, the immensity of their knowledge are simply amazing to watch. They are the model physicians. Some see us as more than students, like almost at the same level and I just feel so humbled by it. We haven’t earn it. yet. Some could see the craziest things i can’t with just the mouth mirror. Some can do those possible things I think impossible.

I see this boundless chasm in between and all I can feel right now is that it is so difficult from the way I am now. All i can see is my limitations. And will I ever rise up to their and my expectations. I need to pay more attention. I need to keep my head down. I really want to be like them. Not just scrape by dental school and scrape by a living.

I hope I evolve, pronto.

It is tuesday & it is tuesday. Rapport is a mighty word to fathom. I am feeling the nostalgia of inspiring role models from certain people. When the going is going to get tough at least brace for it. I am overanalysing other people’s business because mine has been a plateau of non-activity for a while. I am missing caffeine. I cut tooth today. Silly me go and plunge wrong bur into wrong spot and now the whole prep is looking all wrong. Ah nevermind. Redo isn’t repulsive for the time-unpressed.

I am getting over my head. Sure I am.

Ants are behaving like pedestrians on my desk it is beyond annoyance. How dare they behave so brazenly. For a parting gift I am tempted to place a ring of acrylic monomer liquid surrounding a sweet and see them get at it. DIE by the poisonous fumes and have your legs melt under the sheer toxicity of the volatile liquid.

Funny how fear manifest. We beneath our cowering shelter holds secret aspiration to be the one that lord over us.

the orange glow

Yes so monday, bloody monday has past. What a weekend of worry. Honestly I don’t know why but one of the most feared thing top of my list of most feared things is getting scolded by someone of the same sex. Is it the submissive and gender-resigned part of me that feels that when a man scolds you it’s no big deal. Fathers are always about lashing and reprimanding. Yet when the maternal side of women so endearingly so suddenly transformed into medusa is like

So I am handed with learning issues, well deservingly so. Will i grow up to be the one i so feared. I hope. There is so much i have to learn. So much to do before your death. When all has been nothing towards the preparation of departing.

Over the weekend I did almost nothing, which is a luxurious bliss, apart from watching this history documentary following the rise and fall of the tsars. It was simply so engaging. I am inspired by Catherine the Great. Rasputin is scary. He reminds me a little of the Shoko Asahara. I think you can see why. Peter III is amusing in his ineptitude.

Last thursday having met up with xiaoyan revived a little sanity into what was turning into a blue gloom period. Remind me again the period of ignorance and grace period afforded to us in our JC days, where the only worry was A levels. Beat this.

Having finished After Dark, still having no sense from beginning to end, all i get is this vivid movie running inside my head, the scenes unfolding as if i have watched it myself. That the line that separates imagination and reality is blurred. At night the lights shone brightly to me, as if a reminder to the pulsating rhythm that continues to reverberate even in the dead of the night. That night fell doesn’t mean that eyes asleep.

“No one answers our questions,” says the voice of After Dark. “Our question marks are sucked, unresisting, into the final darkness and uncompromising silence of the night.”

PENANG

Penang for the food. A 3d2n affair, we flew from jb withh airasia. Internal flights were very impressive with the punctuality and smooth flight.

When we land upon the tropical island, cheewei brought us around, our foodie guide and great company. So first stop was dim sum at sen heng. Alot of prawn infused dim sum. Then we went to botanical gardensto whittle some time before lunch. 

At the botanical gardens we posed with hydrant man.

Assam Laksa the guest star of the day.

A conglomerrate of roadside stalls offering curry mee, lok lok, wan ton mee and char kway tiao was where we spend the night. It was ultimately sedap.

Next morning was a lesson in history. Fort Cornuwalis. 

After a mad fiasco last night and a morning that didn’t turn out so good TGIF is the only saving grace. Unless, of course it is dampened by the foreboding test of significant weightage in five days.

Sought solace in bending wires. I need all the self-therapy I can get. In pleasant news, NUS won the basketball match against HKU. It was a surprise. The match was a gritting excitement of close tie and aggressiveness. Amirul deciphered in between the technical parts that we didn’t understand.

…

We returned back at 1. Don’t know if the close proximity was actually a good thing. We walked the distance in cold night. This morning I felt groggy and bad. Lack of sleep however chronic never take to good adapting. I enjoyed pbl.

Got back, slept somemore.

point shoot and score

So amirul was in  town, in singapore to play in the TIVG. Justine & I went after school to support his UM bball team fightoff against HKU. My virginal experience watching basketball match; it was bright ghastly lights, pespiration lingers evert corner of the hall, and alot of shouting going on. In chinese.

HKU played really well. Fast & aggresive, they concluded the match with 66-32. Amirul was hilarious during a particular moment of fancy dribbling and hope awaits, only to have a timeout and a “Aiyarcck” coming from the player with dashed asipration. & three times UM overstepped the boundary, I’m starting to think NUS has a hand in the final score with all their confusing crossed-sports demarcation.

Post match we walked back to our rooms. Ah, how i love the absolute accessibility. Point A & point B no longer daunting to the north (far)east dweller.